"Grief shared, is grief abated."
After spending time with one of my closest friends last weekend, she pointed out to me in the kindest of ways that, "you have a new narrative." She was so right, I had to let go of the narrative I had in my head about what my future looked like. She is an inspiration for this blog title and my new narrative.
I have always been incredibly lucky and grateful to have such wonderful people in my life. I can't even begin to express how much my heart swells with all of the amazing people who have come forward to be there for us. I cannot thank all of these people enough!
Although it is our instinct to be "alone" and "not burden" others with our pain, when we do this, we only suffer more, and in turn, others suffer too.
My mom came and stayed at the hospital with my husband and I the entire time we labored. She held my sons. She is one of the strongest people I know. My dad drove me home and sat with me many hours while I wept. My grandma left my sick grandfather to be with us for the memorial. She paid for the twins cremation. My aunts and uncles were all there in one way or another. My brother and his wife kept our son overnight. They are all amazing.
My husbands best friend stayed the night with us after our first night home from the hospital, listening to me sob and scream in pain. They stuck it out. They showed up at the hospital after their own loss and sat with us before and after I delivered. They showed up in the most raw and terrible moments.
My friends and family flew across the country to be with us and grieve and mourn. My very best girlfriends dropped everything to come and stay, even in deep pain that is so uncomfortable. They cleaned my house and organized my food.
Our community sent food and flowers and gifts and notes.
Don't do it alone and don't pretend you can.
