This is us, at a wedding a little less than a month after we delivered.
I am so grateful we went to this wedding. It is a memory I will hold forever. It gave me hope for joy again.
But trust me, it was not easy getting there. Both of us had so much anxiety about the event. We wanted nothing more than to be there for our dear friends who deserved this day so much. We wanted to be happy and be normal, but we didn't know how to.
I put on about 10 different dresses and sobbed because each one did not fit. My body still thought it had just had a baby. Everything that happens to a woman after delivery, happened to me. My milk had come in, so I had to wear a nursing bra for a baby I was not able to nurse. I had to put on spanks so tight that I felt suffocated. My belly still stuck out from having carried two babies. My uterus had not been able to do it's normal job of pulling it all back together. My eyes were so puffy from crying for almost 4 weeks straight that no makeup could help them look normal. I wanted to look nice for a minute and have fun.
Just as I was about to throw in the towel and resign myself to this torture, balling my brains out, my husband came in the room, he said,"my pants don't fit. What if I'm dancing and my pants split?" We both started laughing hysterically and I was crying at the same time.
We were a mess, a real hot mess. My husband and I had spent so much time on the couch mourning, that I had to suck it all in and his pants barely buttoned. We decided at that moment, "Let's own this. Let's do it."
I am so glad we did. The wedding was magical. We had the chance to witness two people who had faced so much adversity themselves, tie the knot and be celebrated. We ate, we drank, we even danced. I did a shot at the money dance and hardly remember much after that except being so happy after what felt like months of pain.
