This is a photo of my son and I when I was still pregnant. Like most 5 years olds, he was excited to be a big brother but also in denial that he would have to share his time, space and toys.
"Mom, when Quinton comes, can we finally go to Hawaii?" my five-year-old asked me one month after I lost both boys.
"Oh Sy, honey, remember, Quinton is not alive anymore. He's not coming." I try to speak this without choking on my words. "But I promise, we will go to Hawaii soon. Promise."
"Ok, because I really want to go and it's not fair if you go with out me." He replies with a bossy-air. Then he runs off to the playground.
How's he going to react? How do I do this? Am I saying the right thing?
These questions and conversations come up more than you think. I have had great professional support to deal with this. My son needed to see someone just as much as I did so I took him to a child grief psychologist I am really glad I did to know what I needed to do for him.
Here is a great document that guides me:
http://www.brookesplace.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/grief-myths.pdf
