This little bird was my surprise this morning as I walked in the door from my daily effort to move this body.
I immediately froze, "oh no!" was my first thought, "this will be bad, I just know it." I think the bird felt my fear and paralysis, as she/he frantically flew around the living room.
"No, stop, chill out Abbey. Breath. Chill. Think. Ok stop telling me to chill out. Ok, got it." my internal dialogue was playing out.
Once I was able to control my anxiety and fear about the situation, the bird landed on the fan and waited. I felt like I needed to give directions so I began flapping my arms, "Look! Look bird! See just fly right out of the door. See, just like this." Did I really think needed to tell this bird how to fly or get out. I started laughing at myself. Good ol' need for control served up with a side of fear. The bird's chest was heaving. I was not helping anyone.
I stopped, "Ok bird, you know what, I trust you. I trust you know how to get out of this situation better than me. When you are ready, you will go, I am sure of it." Me again, talking to the bird or myself, mostly.
Once I let go, let go of the need to fix it or control it, the bird relaxed and within five minutes, it made a full dash for the open glass doors and flew off squawking, as it to say, "see, I told you! I got this!"
So the lesson for me is, to ask myself every day if am living in fear or love? Am I trying to control more than I need to or can? It's been a great teacher, this trust stuff.
I heard a great quote today on a podcast that went, "When we fight something, it fights us back."
